Sex is an important part of any relationship. It’s how couples connect, make-up, and share emotional intimacy.
So, what happens when you have a great connection with your spouse, but the sex just isn’t exciting anymore?
Don’t fret, this happens to most couples at some point in their relationship. It could be the monotony of your sexual routine that’s bringing you down, or perhaps you feel too intimidated to initiate more sex in your life.
Whatever your reasons, there are plenty of things you can do to bring that sexual spark back into your loving marriage. There are many different elements of a fiery sex life, not all of which have to do with getting physical with one another.
From natural libido enhancers to boosting marital satisfaction, we’re giving you 8 relationship tips to put the spark back in your step.
1.Rejuvenate Your Connection
In order to boost your sexual spark this new year, you must work on your marital connection.
The closer you are with your spouse, the more comfortable you will feel being vulnerable to them, which makes sex a lot more satisfying for both partners.
Many couples share in a regular weekly date night to keep their connection strong. Research done by The Marriage Institute found that couples who had a regular date night showed improvement in communication and experienced a boost of passion, excitement, and desire for their partner.
2.Build Sexual Tension
One way you build sexual desire is by using sexual tension to your advantage.
Start flirting with your partner more and give them stimulating thoughts with your words or body language when you’re in a situation where you aren’t able to be alone.
Not being able to scratch that itch right away will build sexual chemistry and boost desire.
Nothing takes you out of the mood quicker than a stressful day at the office or anxiety over the coming week.
If you want to light your sexual spark this year, you need to take time to rejuvenate and de-stress.
Yoga has been shown to relieve anxiety and can be a positive activity for couples to share in together. Studies show that lavender is an effective and natural fighter against anxiety, improves your mood, well-being, quality of life, and even restlessness.
According to research done by the Evidence-based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal, the use of lavender for stress, anxiety, and depression resulted “in a superior and quicker improvement in depressive symptoms.”
4.Communicate about Sex
Communication is the key to happy, thriving marriages.
Communicating is how you get to know each other better, work out problems, and share your hopes and dreams. It’s also how you improve your sexual spark.
Your partner can’t give you the best sex of your life unless they know what makes sex good for you. The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that sexual communication positively correlated with relationship quality and sexual satisfaction.
Boost your sex life this year by being more open with your partner about your needs and desires in between the sheets.
5. Take Advantage of Natural Oils
Pure oils and extracts have been used as aphrodisiacs for centuries. For example, the rich aroma of ylang-ylang is said to improve sexual prowess, while clary sage is said to reduce stress, lower inhibitions, and boost libidos.
Bergamot is a wonderful oil that has been proven to reduce stress that could otherwise be harmful to your intimate connection.
Cinnamon is another great, natural choice for those looking to bump up their sex life. Cinnamon supports the reproductive system, creates a warming sensation that improves circulation and blood flow that can help couples increase arousal.
You may choose to take the oils by diffusing the scent throughout the room or by diluting them with water and rubbing them on your neck or anywhere you might apply perfume.
Remember that 100% organic, naturally derived oils will be the safest and most effective for boosting your libidos.
6. Get Out of the Routine
The longer you are with a partner, the more routine your sex life becomes. You may know exactly what to do to please each other, but sex without any element of surprise can get boring for some.
Get out of your routine by spicing things up in your intimate life.
Take the lovemaking to other rooms of the house or try new things together. You can do this by bringing toys or erotica into the bedroom. Others may subscribe to monthly couples’ boxes that deliver new fantasies with each delivery.
You can also try and incorporate different types of sexual encounters into your marriage, such as quickies, romantic sexy, make-up sex, roleplay, or fantasy sex.
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Initiate
Initiating sex isn’t easy for everyone. Personal insecurities or fear that you are “bugging” your partner may cause you to hold back from making a move.
Fight against the tendency to be reserved with your desires.
Having one partner be the one who always initiates intimacy can be emotionally draining and may cause the initiator to feel insecure about how excited their partner is about sex.
Going back and forth from initiating sex can make the experience feel more exciting for spouses.
8.Explore Non-Sexual Intimacy
Boosting your sex life doesn’t necessarily mean doing something sexual. Studies show that kissing can activate the brain’s reward system and give couples a rush of feelgood hormones.
Many couples benefit their sex lives by exploring non-sexual intimacy. In fact, studies show that nonsexual physical affection, such as caressing, giving massages, cuddling, and hugging boosts partner satisfaction.
It’s also been proven that holding hands with someone you love can lower your blood pressure and heart rate.
Don’t let stress and snow hinder your sex life.
Make a romantic resolution this year and boost the sexual spark you have with your spouse. Your relationship will benefit when you work on your emotion connection, build a romantic friendship, and make intimacy a priority in your life.
The author is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support, and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com that supports healthy happy marriages.