“How do you do it?” Is a question that you will be asked if you tell someone that you are a single mother. The mixture of pity and awe that you will elicit from people may sometimes make you question whether you made the right choice to be a single mother or not.
Although raising kids on your own is not an easy task, being a single mother is not as awful as you may think it is, or as people may think it is. In fact, single mothering has some wonderful benefits.
Benefits of single mothering
Don’t get me wrong, being married will be undoubtedly better for you and your kids- but not at all costs. It is better to be a single mother than to live in a bad marriage. I would, therefore, like to help you discover how easily you can benefit from single mothering.
- More time for yourself when the kids are asleep
With the gold standard of raising kids that is the dual family unit, bedtime is always husband time. Truth be told, sometimes this can feel like more work than your kids are. However, if you are a single mother, you will have a lot of time for yourself once your kids get to sleep whether in a bassinet or on a bed. You can use those free hours to curl up with a book or fold your laundry. You can even use that free time to watch your kids sleep.
- No negotiations necessary
This will probably be your favourite benefit of single mothering. Married couples tend to disagree on parenting styles and the state of their children’s welfare. If you are a single mother, you get to make choices concerning your kids and yourself unilaterally.
This is also better for your children in the long run since, according to psychologists, adult arguing can negatively affect a child’s behaviour. With nobody in your house to challenge your decisions, your children will always see you as their security blanket that they can run to for cover.
- You will be a stellar role model to your kids
Raising your kids on your own is one of the best gifts you can ever give your kids as they will learn from you that they can make it on their own. Single mothering will embody to your kids the idea that they should get into relationships because they want to and not because they need to. Your children will emulate your healthy behaviors because they will see you as someone who is completely whole and independent.
- Your bed will be your own
It’s true that when you are a single mother, you will have less sex than your married counterparts, especially if you are not dating anyone. However, when you go to sleep, you will have the entire bed all for yourself to stretch out and relax in. Should you decide to share your bed with someone, then it will be with your kids. You will sleep longer and better and wake up refreshed more than you will ever do when you are married.
- You will take care of yourself
Recent studies have shown that married women tend to pack more pounds as compared to single women. This means that married women take worse care of themselves than their single counterparts. “I gained sixty pounds during my five-year of marriage, and when I separated, I lost 40 pounds in my first six months”, Says Scarlett Pace, a recently divorced mother of two.
This means that for single mothers, taking care of themselves is always a priority to them as it replaces taking care of him.
- You get every other weekend to yourself
Having a few weekends a month to yourself mean that your friendships will become more of a centre point in your life. When you are married, carving out time to go to dinners, movies and trips with your friends is always hard.
When you are single, you will always make a point of being there for your friends as they have always been there for you. You will be thrilled at how your friendships will be strengthened.
You will agree with me that at some point in your life, you had strong beliefs in happy and healthy family units that consisted of both parents and the children all working together to have a happy and perfect family. But sometimes, things don’t always work out the way we imagined they would.
This is why I think that single mothering has a lot of benefits as it provides women with more happiness, stability and success even despite things not working out for them in their marriage. Therefore, single motherhood is not something that people should see as a pray-that-you-find someone lifestyle. You can take advantage of these wonderful benefits of single mothering that married women cannot, for a happier and more fulfilling life.
My name is Kristi and I’m a mother of 3 beautiful angels, founder of Intelligentmother.com. This blog was created in order to share my personal experiences in baby care and general health care for pregnant women. You will surely find many interesting insights and problems solved on this blog.