The step from a dating site to a phone line is a big one. While he or she may seem great on an online dating site , hearing their voice could sway your opinion one way or the other. Voice provides more intimacy, but without seeing the body and facial movements, it can be hard to interpret. Is he in a bad mood or just tired? Is she blabbering because she’s nervous or because she’s super talkative all the time?
Though there’s no 100% answer to these questions, we did a little research and found out what the typical male or female voice can reveal.
What His Phone Voice Reveals:
He’s Rushing—Men often see the phone as a means to make plans, rather than a tool for getting to know someone. So if he thinks the call is to pick a time and place to meet in person that may be the only task he is focused on. While it can feel like he’s blowing you off or disinterested, he’s really just excited for an in-person meeting, which he sees as far more valuable than calls of conversations on a dating site.
He’s Monotone—Women are better at multitasking and can carry on a conversation while at work, cooking or watching TV. To focus, men generally need to get in “phone mode” and in a “phone mood.” If he’s acting unenthusiastic, you may have simply caught him off-guard of when he’s busy with something else.
He’s Joking… Too Much—This is generally something men turn to when they’re nervous or don’t want to reveal too much actual information about themselves over the phone. Often the same will happen while you’re still talking through the dating site. Hearing you laugh puts him at ease and makes him more comfortable for the in-person meeting. This doesn’t mean he thinks your date is a joke; he just wants to set a friendly tone.
There’s a ton of Background Noise—Likely, this guy was so excited to call you that he didn’t think things through very well and failed to get to a quiet place. And again, men don’t think of phones as conduits of conversation, but rather strict communication, so he could have figured it would be a quick phone call just to make a plan.
What Her Phone Voice Reveals:
You Can’t Get a Word In—She may not be as chatty as she comes across. Women know that most men don’t love phone conversations, so they often feel like they have to take the reigns. Then they overcompensate by feeling like they have to fill in every pause.
She’s Laughing … A Lot—If she’s giggling at nearly everything you say and nothing you’re saying is even remotely a joke, she’s just super nervous. This may carry over into the date, but should fade as she becomes more comfortable with you.
Her Voice Goes Up Like She’s Asking a Question—Women are pleasers. If everything she says is followed by a question or an “if that’s OK with you,” it’s only because she wants to make sure you’re completely on board with all the meet-up plans. Plus, men seem to hate pushy, difficult women so she’s probably skewing as far in the other direction as possible.
Her Accent Keeps Changing Slightly—This generally happens because when people are stressed, they unconsciously resort to the particular dialect they grew up with and are most comfortable with. So a “Y’all” or “aboot” will sneak it’s way in even though she’s lived in New York for 20 years. She also may be trying to cover up her accent because she’s afraid you’ll pass some sort of judgment based on it.
Keep in mind that for some people, especially men who typically talk on the phone less, the mere thought of this conversation can be terrifying. As opposed to online discussion, the phone doesn’t allow for reflection before response. Unless trained in improve, this can be stressful for both parties. So, keep the things above in mind, but also cut your date a little slack.
Alex Wise is a blog contributor and dating consultant for Loveawake.com dating site – a place for single people to connect based on their common interests. He’s a long time blogger with an appetite for technology. During the day, Alex also works as a marketer in the online marketing industry. Follow him on the company site or on Facebook and Twitter